Friday, August 26, 2011

Oh okay

Things idiots say...about disciplining their children.

"I don't think throwing things at people is a big deal.  I only say something if he like bites someone or something."

I have no words.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Things idiots friends they didn't go to college with.

"I didn't join a sorority/frat because I don't have to buy friends."

So that's why you didn't rush.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Going, going, gone

Things idiots say...planning a wedding.

"We're going to get married in Aruba and then throw a big party a few months later back home so we can still get wedding gifts."

Really?  I mean have a reception, that's fine, but you know, people kind of want to see the wedding.  The reception is to celebrate the marriage.  Not to celebrate your vacation to Aruba.  I mean, there are some people who wouldn't bother going to the wedding anyway, but I would.  I kind of get annoyed with the, hey we're getting married in *exotic location* and then we're going to have a reception 3 months later and you can come and give me money or an expensive gift!  And because we're calling it a party, we don't even have to write thank you notes!  Yay!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Hi, Kettle!

Things idiots say....trying to be superior.

"I would never buy clothes from *insert store here* because my child isn't spoiled."

You will publicly tell the world how you'll buy your child video game systems, expensive dolls, playhouses, every CD they ask for and all that because gasp they made their bed!  It doesn't matter if you try and hide buying your child everything by saying, oh they did this chore, you're still doing it.  If that's what you want to do, then do it, but don't try and make another person feel bad for shopping at the Gap or Justice, so you can feel superior.  I'd rather spend $40 at Justice then $200 on a gaming system.  That's me.  This is why if you want to compare your parenting skills to another person's you don't do it publicly.  There will always be someone out there judging you right back.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Hey, thanks for that!

Things idiots teachers.

"I wish I had an easy job like yours."

Seriously?  Oh I'm sorry, you're right, while teachers bring home hours worth of work, you leave work and you're done.  It's soo easy to teach children everything from scratch.  It's like nothing to spend hours planning.  Oh and if they can't find you a sub, you don't get to miss work if you're deathly ill.  Do you ever miss your lunch hour?  (20 min at school)  Do you get to use the restroom when you need to?  Get a drink?  Make a phone call?  If you're having trouble with something, do you get to go find someone to help you?  Do you have a required meeting with every customer 2-3 times a year where you are critiqued?  Do your customers meet once a month to talk about what you do wrong?  Does the public constantly complain about how much money you make for how little you do?  Do you have to appease 25-30 people at once, with different wants and needs, and you are required to do so or risk losing your job, for  hours a day?

Yes, teachers have an *easy* job.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Oh Really?

Things idiots say....on the internet.

"I hate complainers.  They make me stabby."  After posting 7 posts in a row on a blog complaining.

Seriously, I follow like 70 bajillion blogs.  One in particular is like my crack.  Not because it's well written.  Not because it's popular (because, for some reason it is).  But because it's my entertainment.  The writer will literally complain every day about someone or something.  Every Day.  And then, she complains in her comments and twitter feed about how she hates people who complain.  I have mastered the art of laughing at the blog rather than commenting about the idiocy of the whole situation.  Oh and if the blogger isn't complaining?  Then the post is about her awesome parenting skills.  Bwahhahahahahaha.  Waiting for a troll.  ha!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

You may get hurt

Things idiots say to....people with children when they themselves have none.

"I babysit my (niece/nephew/friend's child) all the time.  Being a parent is sooo easy.  Why do people say it's hard?"

I have news for you, I don't care if you are the best super nanny in the world and have your own tv show where you tell people they are crap parents and you get paid for it.  Parenting is hard work.  Kids are almost always more well behaved for other people when not with their parents.  Why?  1.  You aren't their parent a.k.a. the authority figure.  No offense, but really are you going to ground them or take away their xbox?  2.  They've usually been warned within an inch of their life to behave for you.  Until you are in charge of that child 24/7, 365 days a year, you don't get it.  And you won't get it until you are a parent.  And yes, every single time you try and tell us all about parenting, we smile at your face and roll our eyes behind your back.   YOU.DON'T.GET.IT.

Monday, August 8, 2011

I hope you have something to protect you...

Things idiots say to.....pregnant women when it is 15 trillion degrees outside.

"I'm sooooooo hot.  How do you feel?"

I'm pregnant.  My hormones are freaking going nuts.  It's hotter than two trees fighting over a dog.  Do you really want to know how I feel?!?!?

This phrase is even better when it's uttered by a man.


Lately, it seems there are a lot of people I encounter who say really dumb things.  These posts will not be long.  They will simply be things that I observe in my life.  That's it!